Misophonia

Misophonia, or Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome is literally a hatred of sound. Its not just any sound, its normal, everyday sounds that you here any any given moment of any day. Furthermore, for some like me, it's also movements, repetitive movements that seem bigger to me than someone waving their hands in front of my face. The problem? Everyone fidgets around, women twirl their hair at stoplights, bounce their legs when they wait. Children swing around in office chairs, people click their pens repetitively while in thought. There are days I prefer to stay in the house, in my own isolated world with loud box fans and background noise from televisions. I can't even walk out the front door without hearing my neighbors' television, which they so kindly mounted to the wall in their garage and run it from morning till night.

This isn't just an annoyance, or a judgement against people that pollute the world with noise, its a physical, strong reaction. The same reaction a person gets seeing a crime happening or a storm coming is the "fight or flight" response I have every single trigger. My heart races, my palms sweat, I feel the strong desire to hide in a corner with my ears covered and eyes closed.

I am currently under the care of a psychiatrist, psychologist and therapist. This terrible condition, Misophonia, is considered a neurological malfunction with psychological consequences. Unfortunately, Misophonia is not even a real diagnosis, yet to be studied greatly yet. Luckily, I have a psychiatrist that while does not understand the condition, has been willing to try medications that might help. He suspects it's similar to Fibromyalgia. A misfiring in the brain that is barely understood.

I have been using a brain entrainment software program to help with calming my nerves and hopefully balancing out the brainwaves gone awry. I would love to try neurofeedback, but that this time is quite cost prohibitive as insurance does not recognize this as a medical treatment. I am also currently taking Neurontin and Concerta. I am strongly ADHD as well, as well as other symptoms related to Sensory Processing Disorder.

I am currently so motivated to find an answer for this awful problem, as my 11 year old son exhibits similar symptoms to myself when I was his age. I am determined that he will not live in fear as I have. I am using this blog as my personal sounding board, not sure if anyone will ever even read this. But I hope that through writing this down, I can organize my thoughts, see my progress, and maybe can help someone else not feel alone.